Navy Wives Stick Together

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 I'm bawling my eyes out now...

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rdersham
NWST Training Course 101
NWST Training Course 101


Number of posts : 345
Age : 33
Location : San Diego, CA
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Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: I'm bawling my eyes out now...   Mon Sep 29, 2008 12:34 am

DH had watch tonight and he just called me before he showered and was getting ready for bed. He told me that he wants to spend more time with just his friends, so that means without me. They're going to go out drinking and who knows what else because a majority of the guys on his boat are single. They kept bugging him to go out with them and I guess now he feels bad and doesn't want to be anti-social. It sounds selfish of me, but this couldn't have happened at a worse time. I told him before I was okay with it and he didn't do it anyway. Now that I'm pregnant and even after I have the baby, he wants time with the guys. I can't help but think I am slowly losing him but, I'm pretty sure that's not the case. Like Lindsay said in a prior post, the nukes get made fun of a lot and they will bug you about something until you actually do it. He said I can hang with the girls whenever he goes out with the guys but that hardly ever happens because the days I choose to hang with the girls, something pretty much always happens to make it fall through. I just don't want to end up like my cousin and have a baby and then feel like I'm doing all the work and so I resent my husband and it ruins our marriage. Yet.....I don't want to be selfish and hang out with my friends when he has duty and then not allow him to hang out with his friends. I really don't know what to do, I'm so upset right now....I could really use a shoulder to cry on.
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alison
Bootcamp Graduation Day!
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Number of posts : 145
Age : 32
Location : Saginaw, Tx
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Registration date : 2008-06-05

PostSubject: Re: I'm bawling my eyes out now...   Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:02 am

Just be strong. You will be ok. I remember feeling huge resentment towards mine when he would go out, because I wanted him to be at home with me, and then I realized it was just the hormones making me feel like that. He may just need some guy time before the baby comes. You are his wife, and you are the maker of his baby, nothing will change that and i'm sure he loves you for it too. Cheer up hun, i'm sure if you tell/told him how you feel, he will notice it and won't take it for granted!
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rdersham
NWST Training Course 101
NWST Training Course 101


Number of posts : 345
Age : 33
Location : San Diego, CA
Moods :
Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: Re: I'm bawling my eyes out now...   Mon Sep 29, 2008 11:04 am

thanks, alison. i appreciate it!
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imkele
NWST Training Course 101
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Number of posts : 423
Age : 48
Location : Joshua Tree, CA
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Registration date : 2008-06-05

PostSubject: Re: I'm bawling my eyes out now...   Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:02 am

Rachel, I'm sure that it's not to get away from you and that he just needs time with the guys. Just keep the lines of communication open with him and let him know how you feel. As long as it doesn't get out of hand and he still makes you and your marriage a priority, then you have nothing to worry about and I'm sure that won't happen at all. You're just overly sensitive right now with the pregnancy hormones. If you need anything at all, give me a call. Hug
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rdersham
NWST Training Course 101
NWST Training Course 101


Number of posts : 345
Age : 33
Location : San Diego, CA
Moods :
Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: Re: I'm bawling my eyes out now...   Tue Sep 30, 2008 1:56 am

thanks, ladies. we talked and everything is fine. his friends were making fun of him all day yesterday. actually two of the guys had the nerve to start making fun of me. the one said phil should kill me and was telling phil to poison me and all this shit, just so they can spend time together. phil said he didn't want to hang out with the guys to drink so that's awesome. i told him that my cousin and her husband set rules and it works for them. i told him my rules were no going out to bars and strip clubs, unless i go with. i can be the dd or something. these guys need to get home safe somehow and i can't drink anyway! he said that it's fine the rules that i set for when he's here and CAN spend time with me. when he's out to sea and for the guys' birthdays, it will be allowed. i told him i really don't mind if he hangs out with his friends, just so he's not drinking at a bar where the ultimate goal is to pick up loose women. i said that a married man has no business going out with his single friends to a bar. i said it's different if you're going out with married guys to the bar. i suggested having guy's night in, joining men's small group activities at church, and shooting archery with his buddies....i have absolutely NO PROBLEM with those activities. phil felt really bad that i was crying and he was thinking about it all day. he said he was talking to his one buddy, who is engaged and just so happens to be my favorite friend of his....(thanks, dye, you're friggin' awesome!) and phil was saying he felt bad and stuff and dye asked him what he wanted to do and phil said he wanted to spend time with me because he's not a big drinker and that's just not his style. and dye said, well do whatever you want to do, screw those guys. so, yeah....the consensus is, you can hang out with your friends and i can hang out with mine as long as he's not drinking at a bar or going to a strip club while he's home...he can drink at their house, our house, or go bowling, golfing, games, etc. the ONLY exceptions are for his friends' birthdays and when he's out to sea. sorry for the in-depth description but, i wanted everyone to know how bad phil felt and that he never wanted to go out with his friends all along. thank you for all your help, i love you all and appreciate it very much!!
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