need prayers

hello all, so the marital stuff is just all over and I could really use some prayer. I have balled my eyes out so often today I'm so tired. My friend and her parents are in myrtle beach for the next two weeks so I'm going to ask for a few days off this week I think, it came at the perfect time. I so need my bff, she's going to be so shocked, wellshe already is and she only knows that the marriage is sinking, but I've kept all this from my friends because I felt so bad that I asked them to help me, spend money, and take time off for my wedding and it;s been for naught. I told my one friend today and she asked if my bff knew because she knows how protective she is. she said the only thing saving dh from being really hurt is that she's so far away lol. I almost kicked him out last night and I got a little violent, scratching and what not, though to be truthful it was in a way self defense. But tonight he's at his parents and he threw his ring at me (already took mine off). My mom says I should just seperate, but wiat to get a divorce till I;m more calm. I found out today that while he's promising to change, he's planning a life with his mistress, great. I should write a letter to the police academy he's thinking about telling him all about his bs. I can't wait till myrtle beach.

He threw his ring at you??!?!?!?!?! What a $*@&@$(*!!!! I hope you have a stress free time at Myrtle Beach. I'll be praying for you!!

thanks Kim, yeah, well he actually threw it at the computer screen, but it ricoched (sp) and almost hit my face. I don't think he meant to do that, he's not that coordinated, but still. He called last night after midnight, and my stupid butt answered. let's just say i don't doubt that he's going to try and sue for verbal and physical abuse becuase that's just the type of people he and his mother are. Though like I said above it was in self defense, he doesn't see it that way. and the verbal abuse, i'm sorry we were fighting and you just told me you broke yet another promise, or you cheated on me, or I just found out you were continuing to cheat on my, or you lied to me, or you were trying to manipulate me... But we're finally in agreance (i can't spell today) we just want this over. I told him I'd leave him alone if he signed the car over to me and gave me $4000 to settle marrital debts and move on. he doesn't want to do that, he thinks he can do better with lawyers. He also said that he's going to move out west adn start a life with the whore and that his family think's he's better off, well considering they didn't think he needed counseling when he said he wanted to commit suicide, i'm not surprised your family thinks that, anything to prove to you that I'm worthless. GRRRRR I need to work and get money, but I need my bff and mom too.

But divorce lawyers cost money!!!! what is he thinking?!?!?! in my opinion, you're better off without him :)

That's horrible. I'm so sorry he's doing that to you. You definitely have him on adultery. How dare he do this crap to you. Go be with you bff. You need that. You definitely need the support. You are in my prayers. I agree with Kim. I think you're better off without him too. Especially with him treating you like this. You don't deserve that. Keep your chin up and it will all work out fine.

i will definitely keep you in my prayers...im sorry that things turned out like this. but on the bright side, at least you got to see his true colors before a child was brought into the situation. you just need to surround yourself with positive and supportive people. *hugs*

Yeah....if he wants to fight with the lawyer thats fine...adultery is still illegal in most states (esp. in the South.) Most people "aren't" charged for it...but they can be :twisted:

From now on just document everything...how long he calls you,where the money is going,get statements of everything.They will subpeona bank statements either way.

Just watch your back...dont hang around any men.Only your known friends.He very well could hire a PI and try to pin anything on you.

Im not gonna say hes above twisting the truth...so just try to make a timeline of everything.Write down the dates of when things started,Id write down what happened last night in case a cop pays you a visit.

My Dad and Mom fought quite evil in and out of court...so if you need something lemme know.I know way too much about divorce,divorce court,and how manipulative people can be.

I wish I was closer so you could have a place to crash as until the baby comes we have a guest room.Lemme know what I can do on my end.

We're here for you ::

thank you ladies, I stayed the night at a friends that I also sit for,this evening I went out with a friend from work so that was nice, but tonight is rough, I'm trying my best to be nice and he's being civil, but he wants to talk about who get what and what we're doing with the apartment and I REALLY don't want to hear it or talk to him right now. Tomorrow I go to Myrtle beach!!!

have fun at the beach! i hope the weather clears up for you!

Have a great time at the beach. You really need that time away. I hope the weather is good.

Yay beach time! time for relaxation :)

lol I don't even care about the weather lol I would love to stand on the beach witht he rain right now. I hate feeling emotions too. grrr I know I just need to wait and not be rash, but hearing him say he wants a life with her and her with him and that in two weeks he's going out there hurts soooo bad. I'm trying to be good and give him advice and tell him to stop cheating on her already, and he says thank you, but then he started getting into how bad his grandmamma is and how his family has such a divide and then he started to pull this I found out what was really said back in jan to his mom and I'm really pissed. I told him everything and don't remember to much, so I ask him what ans he's like "you know". At that point I said he was trying to manipulate again and said just leave me alone.
I also just got done updating facebook and myspace and my lbil wrote me saying he doesn't know what to say so I wrote him saying no matter what he can talk to me and I think he's a great young man (didn't want ot say kid lol). I then tried to talk about norm stuff, but yeah I tried to be good.

Im so sorry hun! Have a safe trip up to M.B. I will keep you in my prayers! I wish you the best! *hugs*

Having fun with my bff, thanks everyone for your support. We're going dancing tonight to get out and have fun. bff was sad I didn't tell her before hand, and is pissed at him, but she's supportive. thanks all

Im glad you are having a good time with your friend! Be safe hand have a good night!!!

Good for you. Dancing is a great way to have fun and get your mind off of things.

ohhhh dancing! im so jealous...im sitting at home watching ufc with dh

i wish you the best of luck and you are in my prayers f you need anything i am here

So we didn't do any dancing and at first seeing that there were still older couples together that could go out and dance, even with a cane made me happy, but towards midnight I couldn't take it anymore and had to leave. Today started out bad, realized my husband took me off his myspace and deleted his relationship status, but was sneaky. it used to say I have the most wonderful woman int he world, i love you mary, now it says in bad grammar i have most wonderful woman i love you. a, which I know means ashley. pisses me off (he hasn't blocked my bff so that's how I saw it) So i cried a lot this morning, my friend was great she just hugged me and let me go. Later we went to broadway on the beach and did magiquest. yeah it's technically for kids, but we loved it and it totally got my mind off the whole situation, it was better than liqour and cheaper and healthier lol.

:( so sorry sweetheart

Oh honey. I'm so sorry. Keep your head held high and you will get through this.

I am so sorry Sweetie! I hope that things get better!

*hugs* Im sorry girl. Just think there is someone out there that wont treat you like this! I kow it hurts now but you are strong and will ge through it! :heart:

Thanks ladies... another late night talk made me realize need to get out of the place I'm in and all the memories asap. So I think at least for now I'm going to move in with my friends in their new place (so not even memories of us being at their place) and try and save some money while helping them out as well with babysitting. I just gotta figure out what I'm going to do with all my stuff. I like charleston, and at least know I have a job to go to even though it's not the best pay wise, so I think that it's probably my best choice and then if I can't do that on my own either, then I'll consider moving back with my mom for a while, though I'm going to see if I can take a mini vaca up there.
I have done some research and I really think my husband has either anti-personality or borderling personality (or a mix of the 2) disorder. I sent him an email asking him to do a little assessment, but I doubt anything will come of it. I told him I sent it as a friend and I only want him to be the best he can be, especially if he really does want his new relationship to work out, and especially since there is a young child involved. I also sent all my research to his grandmother hoping she might see it too and push for him to get help. I mean this is his 3rd wanting to marry within like 3-4 years, I don't think that's normal.
If it wasn't for you ladies and your prayers and support I don't think it would have been as easy these last few days, though it's not to say it's been easy, or that it will be, but you have all been a tremendous help, and that goes for all the forums I'm on. So thank you. Now I'm off to shower so we can go to magiquest again before the airport ot pick another friend up lol.

im so happy youre doing whats best for you! i know it wont be easy for you but im glad we can be of some help!